I am not a night owl. But tonight I can't seem to grab ahold of the perfect peace Jesus offers me so that I can rest because my mind is on something other than Him. I am so aware tonight that my baby girl Hannah Beth is really all grown up and about to leave our home. So I am awake.....crying. I don't expect to receive pity. Jesus is right here with me and I know He offers me perfect peace that will soothe my heart and give rest to my mind and body. I KNOW all of this from years of blessed exposure to His truth and Jesus-loving people who have invested in my life.....but I just need to let Him hold me and make His presence more than a "knowing"--a realness that is glorifying to Him and joyful for me. This isn't easy for me. It is way outside of my comfort zone. I love to operate in the realm of knowledge and truth and generally I feel comfortable with Jesus in this way. But when I must let Him become more than knowledge, I struggle.
Father, be real to me tonight. All that I read about your glory, let it become more than knowledge, but truly a deep satisfying drink of You that nothing else compares to in my life. You created me for more than cognitive worship....but JOYFUL personal pleasure in the real reality of your love and presence in my heart. Right here-- where I feel such fear and pain and loss of control--help me let you be more than the God of the creation and Sovereign Lord--be my Dad. Who sees and feels and knows more deeply every emotion that I could ever experience. You looked into the eyes of the woman at the well not as the God of judgement to be feared but as the Lover of her soul she only hoped really existed. Let the depth of my hurt create deep places for you to reside in me. So that when I look at my daughter I am not controlled by my fear and loss but by the peace of your presence in me. She will be so blessed by that. I will be so satisfied in that. Others might have burdens lifted in my responding like that.
"Make me know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for YOU I wait all day long." Psalm 25:4
Father, be real to me tonight. All that I read about your glory, let it become more than knowledge, but truly a deep satisfying drink of You that nothing else compares to in my life. You created me for more than cognitive worship....but JOYFUL personal pleasure in the real reality of your love and presence in my heart. Right here-- where I feel such fear and pain and loss of control--help me let you be more than the God of the creation and Sovereign Lord--be my Dad. Who sees and feels and knows more deeply every emotion that I could ever experience. You looked into the eyes of the woman at the well not as the God of judgement to be feared but as the Lover of her soul she only hoped really existed. Let the depth of my hurt create deep places for you to reside in me. So that when I look at my daughter I am not controlled by my fear and loss but by the peace of your presence in me. She will be so blessed by that. I will be so satisfied in that. Others might have burdens lifted in my responding like that.
"Make me know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for YOU I wait all day long." Psalm 25:4
